Friday, March 6, 2009

Day 13~ Love Fights Fair

And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand. (Mark 3:25 KJV)

Like it or not conflict in marriage is inevitable. When you tied the knot as bride and groom, you joined not only your hopes and dreams but also your hurts, fears, imperfections, and emotional baggage.

The storms of life come and you are soon they come it reveals what you're really made of!

Today's Dare is about Conflict and how to deal with it. The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict.

The wisest way is to learn to fight clean by establishing healthy rules of engagement.

There are two types of boundaries "we" and "me" boundaries

"We" boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand, rules that apply during any fight or altercation.

1) We will never mention divorce.

2) We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.

3) We will never fight in public or in front of our children.

4.) We will call a "time out" if conflict escalates to a damaging level.

5) We will never touch each other in a harmful way.

6) We will never go to bed angry with one another.

7) Failure is NOT an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.

"Me" Boundaries~ personal rules you practice

1) I will listen first before speaking (James 1:19)

2) I will deal with my own issues up front. (Mat 7:3)

3) I will speak gently and keep my voice down. (Prov 15:1)

Disagree with DIGNITY! It should be building a bridge instead of burning one down.

Today's Dare

Talk to your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "FIGHT" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.


Isabel said...

This is extremely good advice!

GraceFromHim said...

I thought so to, I think I will type them out on a nice print paper and laminate it!

Peggy said...

This is a list I should post around my house:) We agreed to not argue in front of the kids and to not interupt eachother.

Anonymous said...

I have had 3 unsuccessful days...10,11,12