Day 26~ Love is Responsible

LOVE IS RESPONSIBLE

NUMBER 26

Romans 2:1

Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things.

Today is about personal responsibility.It is something we all agree others should have, but we struggle to maintain it ourselves. In our society there has been a huge decline in personal responsibility! We tend to think we are doing our best with our given circumstances.

Things to remember 

*Love doesn't pass the blame.

Read Proverbs 17:10

* Love is not so easily concerned with it's own performance.

*Love doesn't make excuses.

*Love keeps working to make a difference.

*Love is responsible and willing to admit fault.

*Love calls us to: Love, honor, and cherish.

*Love desires to have the right relationship with God and our mate.

Be ready to admit when you are wrong and ask for forgiveness.

Read 1 John 1:8-9

Things to do

Ask God to show you where you have failed in your responsibility, get it right with Him first. Then get it right with your spouse.

Note from Brandie

When I fully committed to this step, it made a huge difference. I really struggle with saying I am sorry. There were times when I would even say sorry when it was not my fault, just to make peace. This step is when I saw a big change. A verse I memorized that really helped was, 'Love covers a multitude of sins '(1 Peter 4:8). Another verse that has been huge is "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

(Prov 15:1)"

TODAY'S DARE

Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask God for forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your partner. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as councel.

Ask yourself......

What does my mate need in order to see and believe that I am not just using words, but am sincere?

Dare To Love: Day 25~ Love Forgives

Dare To Love: Day 25~ Love Forgives

Day 25~ Love Forgives

I really encourage you to get the book...It is well worth it especially for this chapter in the book! I am only going to type of a few of the things that stuck out.

2 Corinthians 2:10

To whom ye forgive any thing, I [forgive] also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave [it], for your sakes [forgave I it] in the person of Christ;

Forgiveness MUST happen, or a successful marriage won't!

Matthew 18:34

And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

Torture is prison. When you think of unforgiveness, this is what should come to your mind, for Jesus said , "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses."

(Matthew 18:35)

When you forgive another person, you are not turning them loose. You're just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them his way. You're saving yourself the trouble of scripting any more arguments or trying to prevail in this situation. It's not about winning and losing anymore. It's about freedom. It's about letting go. That's why you often hear people who have genuinely forgiven say, "It felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders."

Romans 12:9

[Let] love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.

How do we do this?

You release your anger and the responsibility for judging this person to the Lord.

Romans 12:19

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance [is] mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

How do you know you've done it?

You know it when the thought of their name or the sight of their face- rather than causing your blood to boil- causes you to feel sorry for them instead, to pity them, to genuinely hope they get this turned around.

1 Corinthians 13:5

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

DARE

WHATEVER YOU HAVEN'T FORGIVEN IN YOUR MATE, FORGIVE IT TODAY. LET IT GO. JUST AS WE ASK JESUS TO "FORGIVE US OUR DEBTORS" EACH DAY AS WELL. UNFORGIVENESS HAS BEEN KEEPING YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE IN PRISON TO LONG. SAY FROM YOUR HEART, " I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE."

Day 24~ Love VS Lust

1 John 2:17

And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

There is a progression . LUST

EYES-To HEART-To ACTION..then to shame and regret

Lust is the opposition to love. It means to set your heart and passion on something forbidden. For a believer it is the first step out of fellowship with the Lord and with others. The person or thing you lust after seems to promise a sheer satisfaction, but is more like a bottomless pit of unmet longings.

Lust breeds more lust.

James 4:1-2

From whence [come] wars and fightings among you? [come they] not hence, [even] of your lusts that war in your members Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.

It breeds anger, numb hearts, and destroys marriages.

Let's read 2 Peter 1:3-4

According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that [pertain] unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

Are you tired of being lied to by lust? Then begin to set your eyes on the Word of God. Let His promises of peace and freedom work their way into your heart.

Whole you're at it, set your eyes and heart on your spouse again. (Read Proverbs 5:18-21)

Today's Dare

Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you've swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed today, an replaced with the sure promised of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.

Day 23~Love Always Protects

1 Corinthians 13:7

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Marriage is made up of several things including: joy, sorrow, successes, and failures.

There are many battles in marriage. As a wife or a husband we must expect marriage at times to be a battlefield. Your marriage has enemies out there!

Harmful influence: Are you allowing certain habits to poison your home? The internet and television can be productive and enjoyable additions to your life, but they can also bring in destructive content and drain away precious hours from your family.

Unhealthy Relationships: Who are the people you are hanging out with or talking to during your day? Not all relationships are healthy. If these people undermine your marriage then it is a sure sign that they are NOT people you should be hanging out with. Are you friends with the opposite sex?

Shame: You need to protect your wife or husband's vulnerability by never speaking negatively about them in public.

Parasites: A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage. Examples: gambling, pornography, drugs, ect. Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present.

Read Ezekiel 34:8

Today's Dare

REMOVE ANYTHING THAT IS HINDERING YOUR RELATIONSHIP, ANY ADDICTION OR INFLUENCE THAT'S STEALING YOUR AFFECTIONS AND TURNING YOUR HEART AWAY FROM YOUR SPOUSE.

Interested?

I have received a few request to finish the love dare challenge. I you are interested please send me a note at brwaau38@yahoo.com

Day 22 Love Dare

Love Is Faithful

Hosea 2:20

I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.

The account of the prophet Hosea is one of the most remarkable in the Bible. Against all logic and propriety, God instructed him to marry a prostitute. He wanted Hosea's marriage to show what Heaven's unconditional love looks like towards us.

Jesus called us to this kind of love in the passage known as the Sermon on the Mount. He said to " love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you"(Luke 6:27-28).

Today's Dare

Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return."

Day 21~ Love Is Satisfied In God

Day 21

Is 58:11
And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones : and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.

Remember your hope and Faith in Christ...

Your husband may be late coming home. Again. But God will always be on time.
Your wife may let you down. Again. But God can always be trusted to deliver on His promises.
God Is Our Hope...ask Him
Phil 4:6-7
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

God will supply all your needs....
Phil 4:19

Today's Dare

Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your bible. Try reading a proverbs each day (there are 31) or read a chapter a Day of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). As you do immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.

Question
How do you think spending time daily with God will change your situation and perspective? How can you make Him a bigger part of your day?

Day 20 Love Dare

***This is just the dare written out for you. I don't have much time to cature more but will try in the days ahead.

Day 20~Dare
Love Is Jesus Christ

Dare to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for Salvation. Dare to Pray
"Lord, Jesus, I'm a sinner. But you have shown your love for me by dying on the cross to forgive me of my sins, and you have proven your power to save me from death by your Resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by your grace.

Day 19 'Love Is Impossible'

1 John 4:7

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

You cannot manufacture unconditional love (or agape love) out of your own heart. Only God can do this through you. How many times has your love failed to keep you from lying, from lusting, from overreacting, from thinking evil of this person you've vowed before God to love the rest of your life? How many times has it proven to be incapable of controlling your anger?

It is this failure that exposes mankind's sinful nature.
Romans 3:23
We are guilty as charged before allmighty God
Romans 6:23

Love is from God
1 John 4:7

Apart from God you can do nothing
John 15:5

But God said, if we abide in Him....John 15:7

Ephesians 3:19

God can do abundantly and above all that we could think or ask
Eph 3:20

The Holy Spirit is our help.
Romans 5:5

Today's Dare
Looking over the past Dare's was there something you thought you were incapable of doing? Have you realized your need for God's help in your life? Have you asked God to change your heart and give you the ability to LOVE as he tells us in His Word?

Do you know for SURE where your eternal destination is when you die? Oh my friend, without this you have nothing, but an eternal hell waiting for you. Sounds harsh but there is a penalty for our sins. The only way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ, and accepting him as your PERSONAL Savior. I pray that today if you are here on this blog reading this that the Lord would speak to you, and that you will accept His precious Gift of Salvation!!! It is a GIFT, and all you must do is repent of your sins and accept this eternal gift. Jesus has paid it all on the cross just for you to have an eternal home in Heaven.

Have Questions
Please e-mail me at Brwaau@gmail.com

Note From Brandie

I am going to be out of town for a few days. I will hopefully be able to post either Sunday evening or Monday :)

Have a blessed weekend. I am praying for you ladies.
Hugs,
Brandie

Day 18 Love Seeks To Understand

Love Seeks To Understand

Proverbs 3:13

Happy [is] the man [that] findeth wisdom, and the man [that] getteth understanding.

How much do you know about your spouse?

You start off admiring and building respect for the man you desired to be with. But after marriage, those feelings begin to fade as reality reveals that your "Prince" is a flawed and imperfect man.

There are things still to discover about your husband.

Proverbs 13:15

Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors [is] hard.

Some of the problems you are having with your spouse stem because you don't understand them. We tend to revile those things we don't understand (Jude 10)

Listen (Proverbs 10:14)

Ask God For Discernment (Proverbs 2:6)

Today's Dare

Prepare a special dinner for your husband. Focus on getting to know your husband better, perhaps in areas that you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it enjoyable!

Questions

What did you learn about your spouse?

How can you continue getting to know your husband more?

What were some of the moments that made this evening memorable?

Day 17~ Love Promotes Intimacy

Proverbs 17:9
He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth [very] friends.

Marriage is the most intimate of all human relationships. Each of us come into this world with an inborn hunger to be known, loved, and accepted.

Your mate should not feel pressured to be perfect in order to receive your approval. They should not walk on egg shells.

1 John 4:8
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

If these are areas you have failed in it may take awhile for your mate to gain trust again. You must begin to rebuild trust. The reality of intimacy always takes time to develop, especially after being compromised.

Today's Dare
Determine to guard your mated secrets unless they are dangerous to them or you. Talk with your spouse and resolve to demonstrate Love spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thought, and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.


Questions:
How much of an effort is it for you to hold back from saying something, critical or otherwise? What have you learned about your spouse simply by listening?

Been MIA....sorry :)

Day 16~ Love Intercedes

You cannot change your spouse. As much as you may want to, you cannot play God and reach into their heart and mold them into what you want them to be. But that's what most couples spend a large part of their time trying to do — change their spouse.
Insanity has been described as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. But isn't that what happens when you try to change your mate?

You can become a "wise farmer."
A farmer cannot make a seed grow into a fruitful crop. He cannot argue, manipulate, or demand it to bear fruit. But he can plant the seed into fertile soil, give it water and nutrients, protect it from weeds, and then turn it over to God. Millions of farmers have made a livelihood from this process over the centuries. They know that not every seed sprouts. But most will grow when planted in proper soil and given what they need.

There is no guarantee that anything in this book will change your spouse. But that's not what this book is about. "It's about you daring to love. If you take the Love Dare seriously, there is a high likelihood that you will be personally changed from the inside out.

Prayer really does work. It's a spiritual phenomenon created by an unlimited, powerful God. And it yields amazing results.

Do you feel like giving up on your marriage? (Luke 18:1)
Are you stressed out and worried? Prayer can bring peace to your storms(Philippians 4:6-7)
Do you need a major breakthrough? Prayer can make the difference(Acts 12:1-17)

Today's Dare

BEGIN PRAYING TODAY FOR YOUR SPOUSE'S
HEART. PRAY FOR THREE SPECIFIC AREAS
WHERE YOU DESIRE FOR GOD TO WORK IN

YOUR SPOUSE'S LIFE AND IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

Questions
Have you experienced the power of prayer in the past? What did you choose to pray about? Was it easy for you, or did it feel foreign to you?

Day 15~Love Is Hornorable

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.(1 Peter 3:7)

There are certain words in our language that have powerful meanings. One word we will focus on today is 'Honor'

To honor someone means that you give them respect and high esteem, to treat them as being special and of great worth. Honoring your husband means giving him your full attention.

The other word is 'Holy'
Holiness means set apart for a higher purpose, no longer common or every day, but unique. He is sacred to you, a person to be honored, praised and defended.

Love honors even when it's rejected.
Love treats it's beloved as special and sacred even when an ungrateful attitude is all you get in return.
Romans 12:10
[Be] kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;


Today's Dare

Choose a way to show honor and respect to your husband above your normal routine.

Day 14~ Love Takes Delight

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that [is] thy portion in [this] life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9 KJV)

One of the most important things you should learn in this love dare journey is that you should not follow your heart. You need to LEAD IT!

You will not always feel like loving.

Enjoy your spouse

Desire his conversation

If your irritable, it is because you choose to be.

Read Song Of Solomon 2:3-4

As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so [is] my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit [was] sweet to my taste. [4] He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me [was] love. (Song of Songs 2:3-4 KJV)

Today's dare may be directing you to a real change of heart.

It is your responsibility to relearn what you LOVE about your spouse.

Today's Dare

Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your husband. Do something he would love to do or a project he would really like to work on. Does he tinker in the garage, or out in the shop? Sit with him out there and just enjoy at chat together. Does he have a favorite TV show he likes to watch but you would rather no watch? Sit with him. Just be together.

Questions

What did you decide to give up? What did you do together? How did it go? What new thing did you learn or relearn?

We will resume Love Dare 3-9-09

We will resume Love Dare tomorrow, sorry for the delay...we are doing a challenge this week, NO TV, Computer, Video Games for the week from 8-6:00. So I will be up early tomorrow to post.
Hugs,
Brandie

Day 13~ Love Fights Fair

And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand. (Mark 3:25 KJV)

Like it or not conflict in marriage is inevitable. When you tied the knot as bride and groom, you joined not only your hopes and dreams but also your hurts, fears, imperfections, and emotional baggage.

The storms of life come and you are soon tested......as they come it reveals what you're really made of!

Today's Dare is about Conflict and how to deal with it. The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict.

The wisest way is to learn to fight clean by establishing healthy rules of engagement.

There are two types of boundaries "we" and "me" boundaries

"We" boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand, rules that apply during any fight or altercation.

1) We will never mention divorce.

2) We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.

3) We will never fight in public or in front of our children.

4.) We will call a "time out" if conflict escalates to a damaging level.

5) We will never touch each other in a harmful way.

6) We will never go to bed angry with one another.

7) Failure is NOT an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.

"Me" Boundaries~ personal rules you practice

1) I will listen first before speaking (James 1:19)

2) I will deal with my own issues up front. (Mat 7:3)

3) I will speak gently and keep my voice down. (Prov 15:1)

Disagree with DIGNITY! It should be building a bridge instead of burning one down.

Today's Dare

Talk to your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "FIGHT" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

Day 12~ Love let's the other win

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

Philippians 2:4 KJV

*If you were asked to name 3 areas where you and your spouse disagree, you'd likely be able to do it without thinking very hard.

*Unfortunately stubbornness comes as a standard feature on both husband and wife models. Defending your rights and opinions is a foundational part of your nature and make up. But it can cause frustration in both of you.

* Our priorities, morals, and obedience to God should be guarded with great effort. But to often we debate over piddling things.

* The opposite of stubbornness is willing. It is a attitude and spirit of cooperation that should permeate our conversation. It is like a palm tree by the ocean that endures the greatest winds because it knows how to gracefully bend. Our Example you ask? It is Jesus Christ.He had the right to be served~ But instead He served others. He had the right to live in peace and safety but willingly laid down His life for our sins. He loved, cooperated, and was willing to do His fathers will instead of His own.

Philippians 2:2-8

Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, [being] of one accord, of one mind. [Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

* Are you willing to be the one to say " I am willing to go your way?"...if you do then the argument can be over. It may cost some pride and discomfort, but you have made a loving, lasting investment in your marriage.

* Stop insisting your own way.

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, [and] easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. (James 3:17 KJV)

Today's Dare

Demonstrate Love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first!

Questions

What issue did you choose? What did giving in cost you? How will this help you in the future.