Day 9~ Love makes good impressions

Day 9!

We have made it over a weeks worth of dares ladies, give yourself a pat on the back, and more importantly give God the glory!!!

We have covered some serious ground. Learning to demonstrate aspects of Love

Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity~ 1 Peter 5:14

*You can tell a lot about the state of a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another.

*Do you stop to consider...the difference it would make in your husband's day if everything about you expresses the fact that you were really, really glad to see him?

* When you communicate that you are glad to see your husband, his personal self-worth increases, he feels valued. A good greeting set's the stage for positive and healthy interaction. Like Love, it puts wind in the sails.

* Remember Love is a choice. So choose to change your greeting. Choose Love.

Today's Dare

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for him!

Question?

When and where did you choose to do your special greeting? How will you change your greetings from this point on?

How are we coming along ladies?

How are you doing with the Love Dare? Is it helping? Are you able to do it each day? Are you keeping a personal journal of your progress? Is your mate responding? Does this blog form help you?

Should I just postthese in my other blog and erase this blog?

Thanks for your input. I was hoping to have more ladies join. But I know this is a time consuming thing. Hope you are benefiting from it.

Praying for both of your marriages daily :) I am proud of you both for wanting to make a difference in your marriage!

Hugs,

Brandie

Day 8 " Love is not jealous"

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love [is] strong as death; jealousy [is] cruel as the grave: the coals thereof [are] coals of fire, [which hath a] most vehement flame. (Song of Songs 8:6 KJV)

Wrath [is] cruel, and anger [is] outrageous; but who [is] able to stand before envy? (Proverbs 27:4 KJV)

Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man. It comes from the root word zeal and means "to burn with intense fire."

Two Forms Of Jealousy~

Legitimate~ based upon love

Illegitimate~ based upon envy

Today's Dare

Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list on negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he recently enjoyed.

Day 7 Love believes the best....

1 Corinthians 13:7


(Love:)(Charity) Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

There are 2 rooms in your heart

1. Appreciation Room
2. Depreciation Room

The Appreciation Room

*Where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse.
* You enjoy the visit to the Appreciation room.
*On the walls in the appreciation room are written words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. Example: honest, wonderful cook, intelligent,beautiful eyes, or hard worker. (they are things you have discovered about your husband that have embedded themselves in your memory.
* As you think on these things your appreciation for your spouse increases.

The Depreciation Room
* On the walls in this room is things that bother or irritate you about your spouse.
* These things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings, and disappointments of unmet expectations.
*This room is lined with the weaknesses and failures of your husband. (their bad habits)
*Here are written very hateful things about their mate.
* It is where ammunition is kept for the next fight. (bitterness is allowed to spread here)
* People fall out of love here.
* Divorces are plotted in this room.
*The more time you spend here, the more your heart devalues your spouse.

Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial it exists. BUT Love chooses not to live there.
Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt.
Love focuses on the positive.

The only reason you should glance in the door to the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse. The only reason you should go into the room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE"
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
(1 Peter 4:8 KJV)
We must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate.

Today's Dare

Get two sheets of paper~ On the first sheet, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with the negative things on the second sheet of paper. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your husband for having that characteristic.

Question

Which list was easier to make? what did this reveal about your thoughts? What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?

Day 6 Love is not irritable'

He that is] slow to anger is better than the mighty;
and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
(Proverbs 16:32 KJV)
*Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive. How easily do you get irritated and offended?
*People who are irritated are locked, loaded, and ready to overreact.
* When under pressure Love doesn't turn sour.
* A loving wife is not overly sensetive or cranky but exercises emotional self-control.
*Ask yourself am I calm breeze or am I storm waiting to happen?
* Life is a marathon not a sprint.
* Love will lead you to forgive instead of holding a grudge.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; [13] Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye. [14] And above all these things [put on] charity, which is the bond of perfectness. (Colossians 3:12-14 KJV)

Today's Dare
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Questions
Where do you need to add margin to your life? When have you recently overreacted? What was your real motivation behind it?

What decisions have you made today?

Day 6 Note

I will post day 6 later today after church:)

Day 5 "Love Is Not Rude"

Sorry we missed yesterday, if you already did it. thats ok :)





He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him. (Proverbs 27:14 KJV)

* Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude.
* Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around.
* To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating.
* If you Love your husband you will desire to love, and purposefully avoid things that frustrate him, or cause him discomfort.
* Bottom Line~ Genuine love minds its manners.

[It is] better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. (Proverbs 25:24 KJV)

Test yourself
1.) How does your husband feel about the way you speak and act around them?
2.) How does your behavior affect your husbands sense of worth and self esteem?
3.) Would your husband say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?

Guideline Principles To Practice
1.) Guard the golden rule. Treat your husband the same way you want to be treated (see Luke 6:31)
2.) No double standards. Be considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers or co workers.
3.) Honor request. Consider what your husband already asked you to do or not to do. If in doubt, then ask.

Today's Dare

Ask your husband to tell you three things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking him or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

Question At the end of the day

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you handle hearing it? What do you do to plan to do to improve these areas?

Day 4 " Love Is Thoughtful"

How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! [If] I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. (Psalms 139:17-18 KJV)

* Love Thinks
* If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love.
* Love requires thoughtfulness~ Built through the constructive combination of patience, kindness, and selflessness.

Todays's Dare

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

Question after today's dare....

What did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today? How could this become a more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?

Day 3 'Love Is Not Selfish'

Romans 12:10
[Be] kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

* The opposite of Love is selfishness
* Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive!
* When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that's a sign of selfishness.
* When you prioritize the well being of your mate, there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions.
* Love leads to inner joy.

Today's Dare

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not invested in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says " I was thinking of you today".

Question at the end of Day 3
What did you choose to give your husband? What happened when you gave it?

Day 2 'Love Is Kind'

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32 KJV)

Breaking down Kindness
Gentleness: You speak the truth in LOVE

Helpfulness: Meeting the needs of the moment.(example: housework,a listening ear,ect

Willingness: Kindness Inspires you to be agreeable.

Initiative: Kindness thinks ahead, then takes the first step. The one to greet first, smile first, serve first, and forgive first.

Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: [4] So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. (Proverbs 3:3-4 KJV)

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness. (Proverbs 31:26 KJV)


Day Two Dare
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

Questions:

What discoveries about love did you make today? What specifically did you do in this dare? How did you show kindness?

Reflections After Day 1

I think we all have different struggles in our marriage. As believers we are at different stages in our walk and we may have different convictions. My husband and I don't share some of the same convictions, so this can be a trigger for me. Yesterday, as I was getting dinner finished, I looked over to see the TV had something I didn't feel was appropriate. I could feel myself begin to get frustrated....but then I remembered our challenge for the day! (I am not saying you can not voice your opinion to your husband, but we must do it in a godly manner.) It is not our job to be the Holy Spirit, that is God's work. As I remembered this I refocused my thoughts. I stopped and prayed for the situation, and left it at that.
Thank You Jesus! I made it through :)

PS. We had a great evening together as a family, and last night before bed Wayne said to me, "You treat me so well, you are so good to me". I was so grateful to hear him say this. Our marriage is so different than it use to be. God is restoring it! I can honestly say through God, and ONLY through God can we begin to look differently at what our marriages should be. God's ways are perfect....if we do it the way the BIBLE says it, our marriages can be restored.

Day One "Love Is Patient"

Ok Ladies here we go.....Day 1

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these [is] charity.
Ephesians 4:2
With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;

Love is life's most powerful motivator!
Love changes our motivation for living.
Love is built on two pillars: Patience & Kindness
Love will inspire you to become a patient person.
Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.
Patience stops problems in their tracks.
~Quotes from The Love Dare

www.fireproofmymarriage.com


What To Do Today

"Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the conditions of our heart. Today resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything.
It is better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret."
1 Thessalonians 5:15And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. [And] be at peace among yourselves.

Questions At The End Of The Day
Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate?
Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words?

If you would like to share, then share in your blog, and leave a note in comment section, and link back to my blog. If you want to keep it personal then that is fine too :)

Make sure you have the book! I believe they sell it at Walmart, Target, or on-line at www.fireproofmymarriage.com. The book has space for you to keep track of your journey through each day.

The 40 Day 'Love Dare' Intro

I am exited to have watched the movie "Fireproof", and am delighted to grow in my marriage journey! There is always room for growth in our marriages. In today's society the view on marriage is bleak. I fear many who are new to the faith,or perhaps have never been taught, do NOT have the proper view of marriage . It is my conviction and hearts desire to share what God has done in my marriage and how we can continue to grow to be the wives God has intended us to be. Your marriage is the foundation! If you are struggling in your marriage, then the rest of the family unit will suffer.

So here I am with this blog :) I will list the 40 days of 'The Love Dare' here, and also blog about my personal experiences. I would love for this to be a place where we as ladies can share and encourage one another. This will not however be a place to vent your anger about your mate. It is a place to exhort, edify and help one another. I encourage you to BUY 'The Love Dare'. It can be found on-line or even at places like Walmart. There is a link to the site here where I bought my book on-line.